It’s been a while since I have written a blog, but thank God that He has prompted me to write this morning. Over the past several months, my life has taken a drastic change. For those of you that have followed my blog, you know that my husband has battled cancer for years. Not too long ago, the cancer became terminal, and in March we found ourselves in the hospital supposedly treating infection when the doctor’s reported that my husband is dying. Since, then we went home on hospice and on April 18, 2016 my husband went into cardiac arrest due to fluid on his lungs, where I had to resuscitate him and he is now in the ICU on a vent.
The paramedics told me, “It doesn’t look good” as they carried him out to the hospital, but God said differently. The ICU doctor’s told me he that his kidneys are failing and that he has “irreversible brain damage,” and he’s not going to make it. But how many of you know that there’s a report that far exceeds theirs? It is called the report of the Lord!
You see the doctors have been reporting negatively for years concerning my husband’s health, but my husband has already exceeded their expectations. At times, it has been hard and sometimes I have questioned if God was there at all, but that day that I had to perform CPR on my husband showed me that God was with us because I never thought I could do that; yet, I did by the strength of the Lord. Not only did I perform CPR, but I pumped the entire time until the ambulance got to my home…I didn’t switch persons nor did I stop!
They told me that my husband wouldn’t open his eyes, move his arms, or squeeze my hand…but guess what; he is doing those things today!
When in a battle, you have to make a choice. You can either believe the medical report or you can believe God’s report, but there is one thing you must never forget… know that you are NEVER alone!
Doctors have purpose and we are to hear what they are iterating to us, but they are not the healer, God is the one who heals! The Bible says in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid and terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
How do I endure as a good soldier baring this cancer battle for 6 plus years as a young wife at 36 years old? I tell you, it is the Spirit of God, and the faith of those believers around me, that keeps me, and that same spirit is keeping you!
The Bible also tells us to trust in, lean, and rely on the LORD. In 2014, a Man of God who we did not know called my husband by name (which he had not been given) and said that God is going to give my husband a miracle. And some days it had gotten to the point where things looked so bad, that all I would hold onto is that Word because I couldn’t question it (with him not knowing us).
Yet, the Holy Spirit revealed something to me on the way to the hospital one day. He said, it is good to believe in the Word you received, but that is not going to take you through this trail. He said, your trust and reliance must be in God and in God alone!
You see, sometimes, we will trust in a Word we have received and when it isn’t manifesting as we would like or as quickly as we would like, we can lose our hope and faith; but if our focus and trust is in God, our faith never waivers and our hope never leaves us.
I don’t know where you are in your life today, you may be going through a hard season like I am, but I am writing just to tell you that God has not forgotten about you! He has not given up on you, and that He is still with you!
Yes, I know it looks grim and at night you may cry yourself to sleep from the pain, but God is still there holding your hand, collecting your tears, and carrying you through.
Right now, I am in a place where my natural sight can’t comfort me, and I can’t depend on it. I have to believe beyond what I see, what others feel, and negative reports. I don’t care what it looks like, I will NOT give up on my husband, and I will not give up on God. He is a healer and a way maker.
I am smart enough to know that it’s not those I.V’s keeping my husband, nor is the vent making him breath on his own, it is GOD keeping my husband and if God wanted him gone, He would have been gone three weeks ago when he took his last breath on our bedroom floor. But he’s still here, so there is glory yet for God to get.
So, I tell you to PRESS! Press beyond what you see. Press beyond the pain. I have made up my mind that I will not stop praying, believing, and fighting until God blesses me. Make up your mind to endure like a good soldier and fight till the very end. You already have the victory. Focus on the results, and not the obstacle! God can cause you to WIN!